Proof That God Does Not Exist

The temperature hit 29 today. Fortunately the humidity was low so it only felt like 28. Still, by the end of the day I was feeling pretty sweaty and it was nice to climb out of the shower a few minutes ago and feel clean again.

But I'm not really clean, am I? Scrub as I might there are doubtless still microscopic specks of dirt beneath my nails. There are probably pores on my skin which still harbour a few molecules of oil and sweat. Even if I give a pass to intestinal flora and the beneficial microbes which colonizes my body, in and out, there are almost certainly some bad microbes, here and there, which have managed to survive the deluge, the onslaught of soap and scrub brush.

It's tempting to say that being truly clean is impossible, but I stop short of that. Perhaps it is possible, through the use of high-intensity radiation, anti-microbial drugs and clean room technology for one to achieve true cleanliness. So while cleanliness may not be impossible, it is next to impossible.

Putting that algabraically, we get the following equation:

(1) cleanliness = next to impossible

Now I'm sure that most of you are familiar with the old adage that cleanliness is next to godliness. That gives us a second equation:

(2) cleanliness = next to godliness

Substituting equation (2) into equation (1), we get the following:

(3) next to godliness = next to impossible

Cancelling common terms on each side of the equation brings us to the final truth:

(4) next to godliness = next to impossible
(5) godliness = impossible

So godliness is impossible. Since godliness is, by definition, an attribute which God must have, it follows that God is impossible. Q.E.D.

It's amazing how much a shower can help bring clarity of thought.