Bein' All Initiativey-Like
Mar. 20th, 2011 10:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deaneI very rarely call people up and ask if I can come for a visit because I always feel like it's an imposition. No one is ever going to say, "No, piss off!", so they're pretty much obliged to say yes, even if they've got better things to do. At least that's how it plays out in my internal world model. In my saner moments I realize that there are gentler ways to turn someone down other than telling them to piss off. And who knows, it's just possible that they might really enjoy a visit from me!
It's a weird combination of insecurity and arrogance on my part. Insecurity because there's the fear of rejection, and arrogance because I'm making decisions for others without their permission or even knowledge. It should be their choice whether to accept my visit. I shouldn't take that choice away from them.
It's a bad habit which has contributed mightily to a dramatic shrinking of my social circle. I'm trying to unlearn it, but the going is slow.
Last night I was planning where I would go geocaching today. My Mom had mentioned that my aunt, who lives up-island from me, had expressed interest in my geocaching activities. I hadn't been to see her and my uncle for at least half a year, so I seized the initiative and gave them a call. We chatted for a bit and arranged to go out geocaching this afternoon.
My aunt seemed to really enjoy herself. I'd only planned on taking them to two caches but after we'd nabbed those she asked if there were more nearby and we eventually ended up finding six (bringing my total to 232). I doubt that it's an activity that she'll take up on her own, but I think she'd be keen to join me in future outings when I'm in the area. My uncle wasn't too interested in the geocaching itself but did seem to enjoy just being out and tramping around in the bush.
They invited me to join them for dinner afterward and we chatted for a while. I think that I may have left a bit too abruptly, but then I've never been particularly graceful with my exits. Lack of practice, no doubt.
So that's two weekends in a row that I've managed to get out and socialize. I wonder what I'll do next weekend.
It's a weird combination of insecurity and arrogance on my part. Insecurity because there's the fear of rejection, and arrogance because I'm making decisions for others without their permission or even knowledge. It should be their choice whether to accept my visit. I shouldn't take that choice away from them.
It's a bad habit which has contributed mightily to a dramatic shrinking of my social circle. I'm trying to unlearn it, but the going is slow.
Last night I was planning where I would go geocaching today. My Mom had mentioned that my aunt, who lives up-island from me, had expressed interest in my geocaching activities. I hadn't been to see her and my uncle for at least half a year, so I seized the initiative and gave them a call. We chatted for a bit and arranged to go out geocaching this afternoon.
My aunt seemed to really enjoy herself. I'd only planned on taking them to two caches but after we'd nabbed those she asked if there were more nearby and we eventually ended up finding six (bringing my total to 232). I doubt that it's an activity that she'll take up on her own, but I think she'd be keen to join me in future outings when I'm in the area. My uncle wasn't too interested in the geocaching itself but did seem to enjoy just being out and tramping around in the bush.
They invited me to join them for dinner afterward and we chatted for a while. I think that I may have left a bit too abruptly, but then I've never been particularly graceful with my exits. Lack of practice, no doubt.
So that's two weekends in a row that I've managed to get out and socialize. I wonder what I'll do next weekend.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-21 10:06 am (UTC)